Hi, I’m a representative for the Democrat National Committee, and I want to assure all of the good citizens of Connecticut that the freedoms that our constitution provides you are of the utmost concern to us. We have a team of highly educated lawyers assigned to a commission, and they work night and day to ensure that the laws we have set up to protect the rights of the average citizen are just as ambiguous today as they will be tomorrow. In order to keep the wheels of democracy turning efficiently, we’ve enacted a few essential safe guards to ensure that the political hierarchy remains intact in order to make certain that the laws that have been put in place to govern the common citizen can in no way interfere with the freedoms, and privileges of our elite, and the more prominent members of our constituency that we cater to. Knowing your place in our system is very important to your safety, and also to your welfare. So here’s a few rules that must be followed that are vital to your life’s interests, in addition to your own survival.
1) Never say anything negative, or derogatory about the Democrats, and that includes all of the factions, or groups that support the DNC such as the unions, the gays, and the other minority groups that are set up to destroy anyone that doesn’t think the way we want them to.
2) Always blame the Republicans for everything wrong with our society, and give all of the positive credit to us, the Democrats. (It’s for your own good, it really is)
3) Keep Connecticut as a one party system. We have a few Republicans that have been approved by us, and it’s important to keep them in place so that the real Republicans will have to work with one of these undercover DNC officials in order to get on the ballot.
If we stick to these rules we’ll always have this system the way it is. It’s almost perfectly set right now, however there is a certain governor from New Jersey…. Well I guess you can’t have everything.
